involuntary - adj. a)not done of one's own free will; not done by choice.
quarantine - n. a)the period, originally of forty days, during which an arriving vessel
suspected of carrying contagious disease is detained in port in strict isolation.
dementia - n. loss or impairment of mental powers
My 80 year old mother is so beautiful.
She is waiting.
She has never lived through a Pandemic, though her maternal grandfather died
in the 1918 Pandemic that swept the world.
This morning I spent time listening and pondering with the Holy Spirit
about the involuntary "quarantine" that comes with dementia.
The World Health Organization (WHO) says nearly 50 million people worldwide have some form of dementia.
This number is set to triple in the next 30 years by 2050.
There are nearly 10 million new cases worldwide every year.
When a person experiences any form of dementia, it doesn't fit the historical definition of a "quarantine" lasting 40 days, though it does fit the definition regarding some forms of isolation.
Because of our current Covid19 Pandemic, that seems to especially affect men and women over the age of 65, who have differing pre-existing conditions, I have been thinking even more than normal
of my Mom.
She was diagnosed in 2008 with Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus which has a presenting symptom of frontal lobe dementia.
This morning as I was running and reviewing God's faithfulness,
I was struck with how little my Mom's life will change in the current
"isolations" and "distancing" that are unfolding in our global neighborhood.
I have shared with her about Covid19 and we spent time together
yesterday, on the National Day of Prayer,
reading Exodus 17 together and then live streaming our church's worship service.
She colored quietly on the corresponding page showing Moses striking the rock,
while I took notes as our pastor, Louis Belva, taught from 1 Peter 1.
She was peaceful and quiet as she colored diligently.
She is not fretful about Covid19.
But this morning my heart was so struck with several thoughts about other elderly men and women around the world who are now in even more isolation than they normally experience and especially those like my Mom, because of their "involuntary quarantine with dementia."
Here was the contrast for me -
In a very short span of days our lives as "healthy" humans - have gone from
"busy to still".
Many things we rely on for both work and pleasure have drastically changed - almost overnight.
Though dementia is typically much, much slower than this....
it is similar.
The things that made up my Mother's "normal" living have been gradually stripped away.
In 2050, if I am still alive,
I will turn 83 years old. Statistics say at that time 150 million people will suffer the isolation of dementia.
This morning as I ran with Damon on Signal Mountain with the fog in my face and the wind in my lungs, I wondered if my Mother had known 30 years ago (during the spring of 1990 when I was planning for my wedding on May 26) that she would experience this
"involuntary quarantine" of dementia
if she would have done anything differently with the time she had?
Then I recalled all the conversations and laughter and prayers and tears together with her.
I recounted the photos and stories that she has shown me and told me and recorded in her own handwriting.
I thought of all the handwritten notes she has written and how she spends her days now,
in her waiting,
with reading and writing poetry and creating works of art in the form of name puzzles and through bright coloring.
And out of these thoughts and conversations with the Lord,
flowed these words.....
A percentage of the elderly of our global neighborhood are already living most of their days in a fog of isolation of various forms. They didn't choose that for their story.
For those of us who see our lives "instantly" readjusting with the circumstances of Covid19 - how can we love them and learn from them?
Loving them....
This may sound so oversimplified, but we can pray for them.
- Who are the men and women above 65 in my life?
- When is the last time I thanked them for investing in me or let them know I love them?
- How can I intercede for not only their physical health and protection, but their need for human contact and encouragement?
- Who are their caregivers and how can I pray for them, whether they are a married couple caring for each other or cared for by others?
- Can I find a way to communicate to them that they are not alone and that God is near?
- What would that look like?
- As I wait with my Mom can I elevate her needs over my own, even if it means that I will encounter forms of "quarantine" with her even though I currently have neither Covid19 or Dementia?
- Do I view her needs, as someone weaker than I am physically, as something that irritates me because it is interruptive?
- Can I be poised to serve and encourage these men & women later in upcoming days, weeks and months when Covid19 is not so "pressing" or will I just switch back to my norms?
- Can children and students who are desperate for ways to fill their time be creating works and words to bless the elderly in our families and community?
Learning from them....
I have so many words and thoughts about this because it is where I live as a fulltime caregiver for Mom.
Again, this may sound so trite - but will I learn from her and "Seize the day"?
What if there are decades ahead FOR ME where I am not able to :
- Remember key stories of God's work in my life
- Dress or bathe myself
- Drive
- Have a conversation for more than a few minutes
- Make decisions about any area of my life
- Exercise vigorously
- Express a full range of emotions
- Engage and listen carefully with learning
- Comprehend what I read
- Follow the storyline of a movie or documentary
- Choose what and when I want to eat
Would I live differently in 2020, even during the upheaval of a Pandemic, if I knew that I still have the abilities to experience these gifts of grace?
It becomes MORE personal now as I sit here at our home, Beacon Hall, and type these words.....
- Am I fixing my gaze on what God is allowing me to do today and valuing it as a gift of His grace?
- Am I learning about how to care for my body, this temple of the Holy Spirit, in a way that impacts me as an 83 year old?
- Am I using the time given TODAY to eat, sleep, exercise vigorously and entrust myself to God even in the middle of so many uncertainties?
Tomorrow is no more uncertain, really, than it has ever been in my life before. I have never known what tomorrow would hold. But Jesus gave me clear comfort that He knows and has overcome the world and I am able to wait and take heart because of that truth. See His words in John 14:27.
I have been compelled today to add to this blog that I began when I was in my 30's. Today I am 52 years old. 83 is not really that far away. Wasn't I just getting married in my 20's?
My Mother has been such an incredible instrument and blessing in the hands of our Redeemer to transform me from the inside out.
WHAT IF I am just being given a tiny taste of what her current reality is to increase my compassion for her?
Days of unknown are ahead for both of us, but while I am able to "Remember and Tell" about the trustworthiness of God, I want to do it.
- I want to recount His nearness in ALL circumstances.
- I want to rehearse His grace today.
- I want to rewind and investigate His intimate care over the widow and the Fatherless.
- I want to exalt His name above ALL.
Together....the generations...
"Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart, YES! Wait for the Lord!" Psalm 27:14
